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Atari Mega Archive 1
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Atari Mega Archive - Volume 1.iso
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reddwarf.qte
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1992-07-05
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5KB
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123 lines
Lister Rimmer you said that about king of kings, the story of Jesus
Rimmer Well its true. A simple carpenters son who learns how to do
magic tricks like that and does not go into show business!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Rimmer ... and when Jesus was carrying that cross up the hill, any normal
realistic bloke would have mule kicked the guy on the left
klobbered the one on the right and been over that green hill
and far away before you could have said pontious pilot.
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Cat What! Am I the only sane one here? Why don't we just drop the
defensive shields?
Kryten A superlative suggestion with just two minor flaws. One, we don't
have any defensive shields and two, we don't have any defensive
shields. Now I realise that technically speaking That's only one
flaw but I thought it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning
twice.
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Kryten They've taken Mr Rimmer! Sir they've taken Mr Rimmer!!!
Cat Quick lets get-outer-here before they bring him back!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Floor 3125. Sports and sexual recreation.
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Rimmer Twice a day! That's more than some people manage in a lifetime!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Cat Well I say lets break out the laser canons and give them both
barrels.
Kryten An adroit suggestion with just two major drawbacks.
Cat OKAY! Forget IT!!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Perhaps if you are not in any great rush Mr Rimmer we could
retire to my quarters and have sex for a few hours.
----- HOLOSHIP
#
You make love like a Japanese meal. Small portions but so many
courses!!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Kryten You could be reduced to a gibbering simpleton.
Cat Reduced??
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Lister Rimmer they are a bunch of arrogant, pompas, emotionally weird
stuck up megalomaniacs. Do you realy think you are going to fit
in with them? What am I saying? Bon voyage!!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Kryten You will be joining a society where you will be compelled to have
sex with beautiful brilliant woman twice daily on demand. Now am
I really the only one here that finds that just a little bit tacky.
(pause)
Well quite clearly I am!
----- HOLOSHIP
#
Rimmer So Kryten, you've heard of this Inquisitor?
Kryten Only as a myth, a dark fable. A horror tale told across the
flittering embers of a midnight fire. Wherever hardened space
dogs gather to drink fermented vegetable drinks and compete in
tales of blood chilling terror!
Rimmer A simple YES would have sufficed!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Kryten That is the Inquisitor. He prunes away the waistrulls, expunges the
wretched and deletes the worthless.
Rimmer We're in big trouble!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Inquisitor Justify your existence. What contribution have you made?
Cat I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a
beautiful ass!
Inquisitor Well that's true!
Cat Can I go now?
Inquisitor That's your case?
Cat You need more!
Inquisitor Some may say That's a prety shallow argument.
Cat Some may say I'm a prety shallow guy. But a shallow guy
with a great ass!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Lister (to Rimmer) Feyona Barrington, 15 years of age. You got off with
her in your dad's greenhouse. You thought you'd got lucky but it
turned out all the time you'd got your hand in warm compost!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Cat I hate to say it but for once trans-am wheel arch nostrils is
write!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Lister (Puts severed hand up to open the door)
Kryten Logicaly there is only one way you could have possibly opened
that door. I feel quite nauseous. Where is it?
Lister Where's what?
Kryten Oh sir! You've got it in your jacket!
Lister I got us out of the hold didn't I?
Kryten Oh sir you are sick! You're a sick, sick person. How could you
possibly even conceive of such an idea?
Lister Shut up! Or I'll beat you to death with the wet end!
Kryten Oh sir if mechanoids could barf I'd be onto by fifth bag by now!
----- INQUISITOR
#
Lister Listen Kryten I've been thinking about this. I've come up with
something.
Kryten Yes sir.
Lister I'm going to use my brains for the first time in my life.
Kryten Considering the circumstances sir do you really think that's wise?
----- INQUISITOR
#
Kryten Look sir, I've got to go back in time and sacrifice myself in order
that we can get in the mess we are in now in the first place.
----- INQUISITOR
#
Kryten I believe this is an apropiate juncture to give me five sir.
Lister Give you five! I can do better than that. I can give you fifteen!
----- INQUISITOR
#
#END